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Funny Bible Quotes


Looking for funny bible quotes? Even though bible is not supposed to be funny or contain jokes, still it seems God has a funny sense of humor. That's why you can find Christian funny quotes in bible.

These bible verses are amusing and humorous to read and laugh sometimes. So here are the top funny quotes in bible for you...

Proverbs 27:15-16 (New Living Translation)
A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.

Genesis 25:30 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)
He said to Jacob, "Let me eat some of that red stuff, because I'm exhausted."

Proverbs 21:19 (New Living Translation)
It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife.

One time, Jesus was asked to leave town-- for killing all the pigs!
Matthew 8:28-34 (New International Version)
When he arrived at the other side in the region of the Gadarenes, two demon-possessed men coming from the tombs met him. They were so violent that no one could pass that way. "What do you want with us, Son of God?" they shouted. "Have you come here to torture us before the appointed time?"

Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. The demons begged Jesus, "If you drive us out, send us into the herd of pigs." He said to them, "Go!" So they came out and went into the pigs, and the whole herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and died in the water.

More Funny Bible Quotes

Enjoyed the free funny bible quotes above? You can find even more Christian funny quotes here...

Those tending the pigs ran off, went into the town and reported all this, including what had happened to the demon-possessed men. Then the whole town went out to meet Jesus. And when they saw him, they pleaded with him to leave their region.

Did you know Alabama is mentioned in the book of Ezekiel?
Ezekiel 20:29 (New International Version)
Then I said to them: What is this high place you go to? It is called Bamah to this day.

Do you know the disciples had to share a car?
Philippians 2:2 (American Standard Version)
Make full my joy, that ye be of the same mind, having the same love, being of one accord...

They all met at a famous hotel in Washington, D.C....
Neimeiah 8:1 (New International Version)
…all the people assembled as one man in the square before the Water Gate.

And there are bad drivers...
2 Kings 9:20 (New International Version)
The lookout reported, "He has reached them, but he isn't coming back either. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi--he drives like a madman."

There's the story of Isaac’s son, who smelled like a farm.
Genesis 27:27 (New International Version)
So he went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him and said, "Ah, the smell of my son is like the smell of a field that the LORD has blessed.

Job 13:5 (New International Version)
If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.

2 Kings 2:23-24 (New International Version)
From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!"

He turned around, and looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord.

Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

The book of Proverbs is full of funny verses...
Proverbs 29:20 (New Living Translation)
There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.

Proverbs 31:6 (New International Version)
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.

Proverbs 26:11 (New International Version)
Gray is a crown of splendor: it is attained by a righteous life.

Proverbs 27:14 (New International Version)
If a man loudly blesses his neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse.

Proverbs 31:6 (New International Version)
Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish.

Then there are the weird stories and verses...
Job 19:17 (New International Version)
My breath is offensive to my wife; I am loathsome to my own brothers.

Acts 20:9 (New Living Translation)
As Paul spoke on and on, a young man named Eutychus, sitting on the windowsill, became very drowsy. Finally, he fell sound asleep and dropped three stories to his death below.

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